literature

The Vacation Curriculum

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Literature Text

I can't believe it's only Wednesday. You know what that means? Five more days until Monday. You know what I hate about Mondays? It's the day we're reassured that our teachers don't care about us any more. At this age, they never ask how our weekends were.
It's even worse with summer vacation. Remember kingergarten? We spent an entire week talking about what we did between preschool and then. By third grade, they have it all planned out; we spend fifty minutes on it for half a month. They turn it into a class! "Okay children, I want you to write about your vacations, then we'll read them, and then, we'll draw pictures to go with our stories!" Hooray!
In fifth grade, they make it, like, a super-cram course. "One class! All you can get outta your systems, and then we'll write in our class journals about it and analyze why we feel the way we do."
Then comes middle school... Where their only objective, if anything else, is to prepare us for high school! And look where we are now. Can we please just eliminate the middle man and spend ages eleven to eighteen trying to get into college, already?!
In seventh grade... if we're lucky, after the teacher shares their vacation with us, they might let us talk about ours for thirty seconds each. And then they spend three days going over school policy and course descriptions, because apparently our reading skills haven't developed past those of a two-and-a-half year-old in the seven years we've already been in school. Concequently, we're left with a stack of papers this high.
(Motion high.)
Once we get to high school, we're lucky if we get a syllable about the summer out. Freshman year, there's some kinda black market of weeked stories... We have to go out of our way to ask the teachers, and even then, it's like...
(Pretend to lean in to tell a secret or pass a note.)
Then comes Junior year... where it's a competition to see which department can piss us off the fastest.
"Howwasyoursummer?WelcometoAlgebra!Here'syourfirstproject,it'sdueintwodays."
(Feign being out of breath, then pick up a phone.)
"Hello, English department? Math wins this year."
This isn't exactly the best section for it, but whatever.
I thought this up as a possible monologue for an acting competition I want to do, the Ohlone Festival.
It might also go in my play somewhere, but that's iffy.
© 2006 - 2024 Gamewiz234
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Missaroo's avatar
my teachers never ask me how my weekend was
btw, Tuesday is most depressing day